mending a broken heart

The past couple days I have felt pretty good! I am able to stop be quit being so emotional about everything and try to live life with out sitting and staying in sadness. I am faithful! And I know God is faithful. He will see me through my grief and he is doing this. I have had to put one foot in front of the other and go on living. With 4 other kids, a house, a husband, and lots of things to do I have no choice. (actually I do I could just sit in my tears and let this ruin not only my future but my entire family's life) I have to go on and just know I will see my baby again someday! Baby Tiny is now our guardian angel. With the holidays and with my oldest having a mission from God to do. I realized things really do revolve around me in a way. Have you hear the saying if mama an't happy ant nobody happy. Well it's true a mother is the home manager especially when I am a stay at home and homeschool mother. The days I just did nothing and sulked, not a lot was getting done. Life doesn't run very smoothly when the mother is not able to manage at her job.  

I am surprised in a way at how much at peace I am right now. With that being said it has only been a couple of weeks since baby tiny left us to go to heaven I am sure I will have my moments. But I think that is part of mending your heart it will never be exactly the same as before. It has been altered. But we learn a new way to go. I new way to walk.

My doctor called today and said I have to go in for more blood work because my levels are not down to what she wants them to be. The are at 69 and she wants them below 5. Hopefully this will be the last check, I just want to be able to move past the doctor stuff. 

Through everything I have became stronger and more aware of people around me! Life is precious and we all have a purpose! Lets set our eyes upon the Lord!!!!