Life goes on (after a miscarriage)

As I sit here only days from what is supposed to be my due date, I am sad to see other pregnant friends posts on social media. Of coarse I am happy for them and love to see the videos of their bellies moving as their little blessing does flips. I am excited for them that they will be able to hold their babies very soon. It is crazy that I have almost anger toward the post of frustrated miserable pregnant people so ready to get this pregnancy over. I understand but wish I was in their shoes of not sleeping at night because my belly was too big instead of having moments where I awake just to sit in silence missing my baby or having to wake several times a night to pee and knowing this will prepare me for my infant waking up for feedings. But all the time knowing it's all worth it because I will see my babies beautiful face before I know it.  As the days, weeks, and months go by, after loosing my precious miracle I have learned life does go on. Sometimes I have to take it day by day and sometimes moment by moment but life is moving around me even when I am not moving from my moment. God is that good! I mean obviously right now is a good moment for me and I am able to see the blessings around me, but earlier I was blowing my nose and wiping tears from a short video of a sweet friends belly.

I also understand that my loss doesn't effect very many others and especially not in the same way. I am very grateful for my husband who is very strong and is especially strong and understanding for  and of me when I do have moments. I am thankful to have a few close friends who listen to me even when they pray they never have to experience what I am feeling. I am so happy that God gave me my other children. I am so excited that I am a child of God because I can't imagine how I would cope with the pain I feel with out my faith in Him! He has carried me through my lowest moments! And he continues to be here for me always!  I don't pretend that I am happy all the time but who is happy 100% of the time anyways! Although I do praise God especially in my good moments for letting me see how far I have came. And for knowing I will continue walking and standing strong because he is with me! So if you see me brake down in tears over something you don't think has anything to do with losing a baby or you see me tear up when I look a your pregnant belly  

or your beautiful newborn, know I am so happy for you and I thank God for giving you the best gift! If you think I hold my other children too much or hug and kiss them a lot, or if you think I have a lot of patience with them it is because I am well aware of how fast life can go.

I want to enjoy the moment when I hold my 3 yr old or if I am watching my 13 yr old putting on her make up or hugging my son until he pulls away or if I have a hard time knowing my 17 yr old will be leaving the nest before I know it. I want to saver every single moment God gives me with them.

And if I could give one piece of advice to any parent, I would say hold your babies for as long as you can, hug until they pull away, and really enjoy every single stage your child goes through. Really pick your battles! Really show them love!!! God gave them to us only for a time. Love them to death!